Kadaj's Bad Day
by Riku's Dark Vampire Girl
Summary: Kadaj gets to have all the bad luck in one random fanfic. R&R!


I can't believe the BHK's name is Roxas! Now to our story...

Kadaj opened his eyes to the warm sun beating down on his face. "My eyes! They friggin BURN!" Kadaj shot up and rubbed his eyes (Trust me, waking up with the sun right in your face can really kill somebody!). Loz and Yazoo bust open his bedroom door. "Everything okay?" Yazoo asked. "Oh yeah. Everything's great! My eyes are burning like crazy the sun's trying to kill me. Everything's great" Kadaj said sarcastically. "Okay" Loz smiled and turned back around, walking out of the room. "You better get downstairs for breakfast before Loz takes the last pop-tart (Don't own that, but if I did, I'd be the happiest person in the whole world!). "What!" Kadaj yelled. He scrambled over to his dresser, trying to get some clothes on, but while putting on his pants, he trips and falls when trying to reach for his shirt. "Why?" he moans. "Shirt, come to me!" he stretched his arm out to the black leather shirt hanging out of his dresser a few feet away. It falls and on top of a small white bunny, sleeping in its basket. It wakes up and climbs from under the shirt. "Azura, can you get my shirt" Kadaj points. She looks down at it and lays on it. Kadaj starts to shimmy (Shimmy! Hahahaha!) over to his shirt with his pants tightly on his legs. He carefully slides it over to him until Azura gets off. He pulls it over his shirtless six pack body and gets up.

Following after Yazoo, Kadaj runs over to the stairs, but slips and hits the wall before falling down the stairs.

"Somebody's uncoordinated this morning" Yazoo thinks as he reads the newspaper. "I heard that!" Kadaj gets up. "Um..." Yazoo looks deeper into the articles. Kadaj looks around hastely to see Loz take out the pop-tart box. "Nooooo!" Kadaj runs over to him and tackles him down. "Mine!" Kadaj tries to take the box from Loz. "I found it first!" Loz bites Kadaj's arm. "Give it!" Kadaj starts to bites Loz's shoulder. "This is ridiculous" Yazoo sets the paper down and walks over to them. He easily takes the box from both of them and throws it out the kitchen window. Taking out the Velvet Nightmare, he shoots the box several times while it's in the air.

"Pop-tart" Kadaj and Loz whine. "Now, if we could act a little more mature" Yazoo turns back around. "Right, well." Kadaj gets up and dusts himself off, trying hard not to cry about the pop-tart. "I'm going to take Azura for a walk" Kadaj looks over to the stairs to see Azura climb down the last step. "Be careful with her, okay" Yazoo points. "I will, my gosh!" Kadaj picks her up.

Kadaj steps outside with Azura carefully set in his arms. "It's nice out" Kadaj looks up at the sky. He starts to walk around the area until he almost gets hit by a car. Soon he finds himself in all these cars that're coming out of nowhere. "Can this day get any weirder?" Kadaj mumbles. "We gotta kill 'em!" Sora runs by, swinging the keyblade like a crazy person after a small tonberry with Donald and Goofy following behind. "Sora, wait!" Riku stops next to Kadaj, trying to catch his breath. "Having a better day than me, brother?" Kadaj asks. "Not really, Sora's gone on a rampage and he won't give me my twenty dollars back!" Riku looks over to him. Kadaj pats him on the back, before watching him run off.

After all the chaos and traffic stops, Kadaj takes one step and trips. Azura goes flying into some quicksand. "Nooooo!" Kadaj reaches over to her, only to see her sink almost instantly. "My instant quicksand works!" Reeve walks over and laughs. "Reeve!" Kadaj gets up and takes out the Souba. "Please, don't hurt me!" Reeve runs off. He sheaths the Souba and looks down. "Azura, you were my best friend" he picks up some random flowers and throws it over the quicksand, which sinks with the bunny too. And so, Kadaj starts to walk in some random desert to nowhere in particular. "You cruel world!" he stomps the ground. It rumbles and a boulder comes at him from a mile away. "I take it back!" Kadaj yells as he runs away from the boulder coming at him 20mi per hour. He ends up (After the boulder has eroded away) at the cliff near Midgar. "What a weird looking sword" Kadaj walked over to the sword.

Suddenly, he felt something touch his ankle. "Oh my gosh!" he yelled as he saw a hand come out of the ground. It grabbed his leg and clutched it tightly. "Clllllloooouuuuddddd!" Zack's voice moaned as his head erupted from under the ground. "AAAAAAHHHH!" Kadaj screamed as he tried to get his foot out of his grasp. "Somebody help me!" Kadaj hit the ground as Zack dragged him over. Zack fully gets out of the ground and looks down at Kadaj. "Sorry, wrong guy" Zack smiled and laughed nervously as he dropped Kadaj's ankle and walked away. "What, the, hell?" Kadaj twitches his eyebrow. "I need a vacation" Kadaj got up and dusted himself off.

-Later on- "This is much better" Kadaj lays down on a beach chair while wearing his new trunks, showing off his muscular body. "Hey there hot stuff!" a teenaged girl walked over. Kadaj looked up at her and smiled. "You wanna swim with me?" she asked. "No, he wants to swim with me!" another girl butted in. "Not you, he wants to swim with me!" another girl walked over and before you could say 'Give me a dollar' there was a group of girls, arguing if Kadaj was going to swim with them. "Oh, no! He's going to swim with me!" a very fat woman with horrible makeup on ran over as the ground shook everytime she took a step. "Anything but that!" Kadaj got up and took off. "Tell me this is a nightmare!" Kadaj tried to speed away from the tomato woman chasing him. And so, Kadaj fell down a hoooooolllllleeeeeee, on the beach. "This day can't get any worse" he thought, but he was wrong. He fell into the lifestream at a very bad time. There he saw Sephiroth dancing to 'I Like to Move It!' in only his boxers. "I like to move it, move it!" he sung as he used the Masamune as a microphone. He turns around and sees Kadaj staring at him like he was a crazy person, because he was. "Um, get back to work!" Sephiroth tried to act mature. "Were you just-" "Did I stutter?" Sephiroth walked up to him with an angry look in his eyes. "Nope!" Kadaj turned back and ran off.

He climbed out of the hole Zack came out of and dusted himself off. Before you he knew it, it started to rain cats and dogs (Really. It was raining all types of cats and dogs). "Wait! I don't have an umbrella!" Kadaj tried to dodge the canines and felines. Then, it started to hail after all the animals had fallen to the ground with hundreds of injuries. "What's wrong with this picture!" Kadaj yelled as he tried to stand up to the strong winds. "More emotion!" some random dude yelled. It was that after the yell, Kadaj realized he was on a movie set. "Oops, he found out! Scatter!" the director dude yelled through his megaphone. It was then that Kadaj stomped his way home. "Have a nice walk, brother?" Yazoo asked, still reading the newspaper. "It was real great, yeah, I had the best time of my life out there" Kadaj said sarcastically. "Where's Azura?" Loz asked. Kadaj fell to his knees and began to cry. "She sunk in some quicksand!" Kadaj sobbed. "How could you have sunk her? You were only out there for 30 seconds!" Yazoo yelled.

Kadaj stopped crying and turned to Yazoo. "Only, 30 seconds?" Kadaj raised an eyebrow. "I had my timer on" Yazoo pointed to the watch on his wrist. "So you're telling me, that I've been almost hit by traffic, dragged into the ground by a zombie, almost trampled by an enourmous woman and hit by animals and hail in 30 seconds?" Kadaj got up and walked over to Yazoo. "Well, yeah" Yazoo smiled. Kadaj gritted his teeth and clutched his fists as he stomped up the stairs. "What's his problem?" Loz asked. Yazoo shrugged.

-On the Sierra- "Don't kill me!" Cait Sith is running around the Sierra, saying the same line over and over again. "Make him stop!" Yuffie covered her ears. "He's been doing this for hours!" Cid tries to kick him, but misses each time. "I've got an idea" Vincent cooly says. And so, they threw Cait Sith off the Sierra. "Wait a second! Didn't we store our weapons in his mog suit so we didn't have to lunge them around?" Cloud asked. They all looked down over the deck to see Cait Sith fall into the ocean. "Ooops" they all said in unison.


End file.
